Why is everything I love to do a sin before God? I was practically excommunicated from my family when I hugged the girl of my dreams after we took a walk in the woods. My family began to say that "God was going to release the floodgates on me and them" because I had committed fornication. My heart hurts so bad knowing I caused the girl I love to commit such a sin before marriage, but I just couldn't help it. Another instance was when I was late getting the chores done due to the fact that I got caught up in one of the other chores that seemed to take a while. My mom said then that my place in heaven was going to be lost if I took such a long time working to avoid giving God his due praise. I praise him ALL the time. I thank Him everyday, all day for waking my family and I up, for allowing us our own property and availability to praise Him how we want and even for Melinda-my love. Why do I have some impending feeling that God doesn't want us to live like this? Like what we're doing is extreme? I dare not speak out as they will feel I'm committing witchcraft or something....
Pastor Edward's sermon was quite strong last Sunday. He mentioned that all the sinners were going to perish under God's wrath and somehow I felt as though he were talking to me and as soon as Melinda and I caught eyes, we exchanged mutual guilt. I don't want to pull her down with my lustiness and desires. That hug had made my week and if I could only obtain one every blue moon, how happy I'd be. She completes me, but I cannot complete my desires and have us fornicating. I've already been destined for hell and my sins aren't going to bring Melinda down. I'll go to hell to keep her from going there. But Melinda said something interesting when we walked. She said that God wants us to ask for forgiveness and love him, not fear him in the way that Pastor Edwards seems to preaching and I completely agree, but again, we dare not say that or else some tragedy could occur. If only we could share our views with others we know....
Gabby, this is really good narrative. I think you really captured the idea and the fact that Edwards' is a little over-the-top when it comes to punishment. I agree; I don't think God would want us to live like that. He wants us to live our lives, that's why he gave it to us.
ReplyDeleteYou are so talented! I loved reading this. It's extremely well written. You really showed the reality of what Edward's words affected people. Nicely Done.
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